Sunday, August 15, 2010


The main thing to beware of, when cutting open penguins and crawling inside to survive a storm in the wild, is whimsy. Penguins are very whimsical creatures. They wear suits. They toddle around, waggling their heads back and forth. They like to slide down hills. It's easy to get carried away and lose focus--focus necessary for survival. Instead of dragging your penguin fort to a protected area like you should as the storm approaches, you start thinking how funny it is that penguins wear suits and you're wearing a suit of penguins. Then you make a comical gesture or two with a flipper, pretending you're at a cocktail party with George Plimpton and you just said something tremendously witty. Next thing you know you're ignoring the storm altogether, sliding down a hill and BAM--struck by lightning. Game over.


  1. Can you cut open George Plimpton to survive a storm in the wild?

  2. I think it's important to think about which animals might provide adequate shelter in arctic or antarctic climates, and for this reason your advice on penguins is really quite apropos. I'd like to see some advice on arctic animals, though: Caribou, polar bear, elephant seal, beluga, and so on. There's not always a muskox when you need one.

    Just an idea.