Sunday, July 25, 2010

Falkor the Luckdragon

Luckdragons elongated bodies allow them to swim through the air. Covered in scales and fur, they remain in constant motion, wriggling like a snake when they fly.

This elongated body also makes them an ideal candidate for cutting open and crawling inside to survive a storm in the wild, particularly if you are stranded with a large group of children. Only three or four adults can fit inside lying down, however, ten to fifteen children can form a standing line in the beasts lengthy chest cavity.

Falkor in particular is trusting of human children. Thus, if you get lost taking a class of kindergarteners to search for Uyulala the Southern Oracle, and a storm that may or may not be the work of the evil sorceress Xayide is rolling in from the north, have one of them summon Falkor.

With luck, he will find you, and when he does, his luck will run out. Use a long serrated blade to saw him open from chin to tail. Work fast, this will be a traumatic moment for the kids. Consider distracting them by pretending that a rock in the distance is the werewolf Gmork coming to steal their souls.

After the incision is made, remove the guts and herd the children inside. The storm will abate and Xayide will pass over you none the wiser.

A note of caution: children love luckdragons. They might try to avenge Falkor's death. Be particularly wary of a shy bookish boy named Bastian. He has a magic amulet and gets a little crazy.


  1. anyone ever crawled inside another human to survive, its like wearing a big mushy coat!