Friday, July 23, 2010

Honey Badger

The Guinness Book of World Records named the honey badger the world's bravest animal. After watching the above video, I've decided it's just as idiotic as Guinness's other records, like most pirate garbed people in one place or longest leg hair. Sure, honey badgers are brave but they're stupid brave. Brave like punching the biggest guy in the bar just because he's the biggest guy in the bar or eating a jar of expired mayonnaise because your bros dared you to.

It's a classic case of New Jersey brave. Honey badgers snarl around being greasy and picking fights with everyone. They're the guidos of the animal kingdom, making them particularly satisfying to cut open and crawl inside to survive a storm in the wild.

As with real guidos, there's no reason to fight them face to face. Simply wait for them to eat (or drink) something poisonous and pass out. In this case, track the honey badger until it eats a puff adder. Then, when it's out cold in a deathlike fetal position, much like the guy who ate the expired mayo, you can take your time cutting it open and crawling inside.

1 comment:

  1. Holly Shit!

    Yeah, that thing better be passed the fuck out if I'm going to go within a 100 yards.

    I'm going to have nightmares after watching that.